How Men Actually Get Over Depression - The No-Bullshit Guide

In 2023 you probably already know what depression is and maybe you have even felt it at some point in your life. 

That feeling of being alone with no control and feeling like you don't have the power to change anything.

And even though everyone tells you that if you have depression then you should speak to someone, you don't want to burden another person with your own personal problems.

And that's completely NORMAL

You see male and female depression are completely different. 

Females like to communicate their problems and have a need to feel heard. This is what therapy focuses on and why it works so well for women

Men on the other hand don't care about feeling heard and just want to be given a solution 

This is why therapy typically doesn't work as well for men.

So what does work for men?

The difference between a depressed men and a men who isn't

The best way to solve a problem is often by breaking it down. Let's take depression, for example. It's basically feeling like shit most of the day.

An the reason for this is because of your habits, you can't cheat life man. Shit in - shit out. 

Imagine a guy named 'John':

He wakes up at 8, scrolls through his TikTok feed, goes to a shitty job for 8 hours, comes home, snacks on chips, plays WOW for hours, then watches porn until bedtime.

Now, picture doing this routines for weeks or even months. No wonder John feels like a piece of shit.

But he still complains on Reddit why he feels so bad about himself.

You can't make this shit up. 

Alright, let's switch gears and take a peek into the daily routine of his younger brother, Chad.

Chad rises at 6 AM, kicks off his day with a quick 20-30 minute jog, followed by a nice stretch and a refreshing cold shower.

Next, he dives into something he loves - whether it's business, biology, or a captivating fantasy book in another language.

Then, it's all about his business for 3-4 hours, steadily growing each month. Come lunchtime, he grabs a meal with a buddy.

In the afternoon, he handles 1-2 hours of admin work, followed by a private BJJ class and a group boxing session.

After that, he hangs out with his friends & family or girlfriend. In the evening, he preps for the next day and unwinds with some reading before hitting the hay

How men actually get over depression

So how do we solve it? 

Well, male depression typically comes from a feeling of worthlessness, powerlessness, and having no control over your life. The other typical cause of male depression is having a lack of relationship fulfillment in your life.

But a man isn't fulfilled by being told that he is loved and feeling cherished, instead they want to feel like a respected and contributing member of the group

And that is exactly why therapy doesn't work. Men don't want to sit around for years and talk about all their problems with no solution all while they are being charged thousands of dollars. They need actions. 

In case you're thinking “Why don't they speak to a family member”. The truth is men don't want to burden their problems on others and they hate the idea of just unloading their issues and making it someone else's problem.

Even if the family member doesn't take it as a burden, the fact that the man is not contributing anything to help that family member will make it feel like a burden in the man's eyes.

What men truly need is a purpose.  

What a purpose does, is it gives them a reason to go through all that pain and take all the challenge and responsibility to come out on the other side a better man.

A man who can withstand all of the crap and come out on top to fulfill his purpose will ideally be cured of any depression. Not only that but the challenges he goes through in order to complete his purpose will alleviate the symptoms of depression and make him feel in control.

To sum it all up, A man with a strong enough “why” can bear any “how”.

So what actions you can take to get over your Depression?

First of all you need to analyze the actions of your past month.If you did that write down your normal day. 

As I said earlier what men truly need to cure their depression is a purpose and what boxing does is actually give you a purpose. a purpose of fighting because when you plan to fight you set a goal.

But unlike other goals you set,  this goal has serious consequences if not taken seriously.  this fear of taking a beating motivates you and gives you a purpose to push past your depression and focus on your responsibilities as a boxer.

As a boxer, you are now responsible for…

• Showing up to training every day and working hard
• Eating correctly
• Doing roadwork in the morning(running)
• Doing everything the coach tells you
• And so much more

Plus because of all these responsibilities, your excuses don't have the same weighting that they used to.  

Being tired doesn't matter anymore

Being sore doesn't matter anymore

Being sad doesn't matter anymore

All that matters is that you get up and go to the gym so you DON’T LOSE your first fight

And then the hard days become slightly easier and the easy days become fantastic. 

Now after all that work is said and done and you’ve just won your first fight, your whole gym is cheering as the guy that you just beaten is shaking your hand

You won't be thinking about your depression anymore.

You’ll find that like fulfillment with your coach and with other fighters who have trained with you, and now respect you. You won't feel worthless, or powerless and like you have no control because you had just taken control in the ring and shown your worth to the whole crowd. 

Trust me when you have your first win, you will feel powerful and even if you lose, you still get all the respect from others plus when you continue to push yourself after a big loss, you gain more respect than you could ever imagine.

Another little psychological reason is that fighting is actually the most primal instinct in our brains. Because 10000 years ago when we were all living in caves the only way to thrive and be successful was if you are able to fight off predators and other humans

Conclusion 

So to be clear we aren't saying that you need to go through your battle with depression by yourself and if you feel like talking to someone would genuinely help you, then you definitely should speak to someone you trust. 

What we are saying is that if you are depressed and you dont want to talk to someone, you dont want to sit down and speak to a professional but you do still want a solution.

Then you are completely normal and boxing may be that solution that is going to help you dig yourself out of whatever hole you feel like you are in.

Because it gives you a purpose and a reason to do something. With boxing, you will get the responsibility of showing up every day to training, the responsibility of controlling your temptations, and you will develop the mental strength to push yourself through any challenge.

With that new mental and physical strength you will also gain confidence, confidence that can't be faked and is only found through this method.

This confidence will help you fight but it will also make you better at socializing, so you can start talking to more people inside and outside of your gym

Filling that lack of fulfillment and now you’ve taken control, boxing has given you power, your new confidence lets you know you are worth something, and the people you meet satisfy your lack of fulfillment.

So is boxing the best Antidepressant?

Well it does tick all of the boxes 

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